MODE Of Cosmic Therapy: Stop The Blame Game.
No need to persist in complaining and criticizing about those aspects (actions) in another when they actually reflect an earnest desire to alter in yourself a bothersome trait. You are aware of the suppressed inability to activate adjustment, in yourself, but simply deny and refuse to deal with it. You, who are yelling, “Change, Change, Change” won’t see that you are the culprit you are talking to. Somewhere along the path of life, you filled up with such self-righteous attitudes and beliefs that in some way made you feel superior to those who inhabit your space. You have placed your high and mighty self in the most unfavorable position of judge and jury to the exhausting point of nausea. You have convinced yourself that it is so much easier and less demeaning to blame the other for your own inadequacies and fear of breaking loose. You really can’t stand your feckless actions, but don’t know how to stop the familiar routine.
What would it really take for you to break that rigid moralistic attitude? Do you honestly believe that IF you ‘let up’ on the drill sergeant schedule, the effects would cause you some type of unimaginable loss or irreplaceable harm? Don’t you realize that you can not possibly force someone to do something he/she does not want to do? If you would stop long enough to see what you are attempting to do; a glimmering ray of moonbeam may be able to enter the picture of your otherwise dull and monotonous life. By eliminating the need to be thought of as one who is so ‘good’, in the know, in charge, ‘got it all together’, the general in command who sets the standard for others, the self-appointed administrator for correct , acceptable and proper conduct, and last but not least, the indispensable partner who can do no wrong, you could actually relax, kick back, enjoy life and have some real fun. [Not to mention how much more rewarding and fulfilling your otherwise smothering abrasive behavior would lesson].
You and your lofty pre-supposed moral judgments are sickening. You are far too biting and caustic in your approach to everything, everyone, every topic of conversation. Give it a rest. Come down from your ‘Ivory tower of self-sanctioned idealistic sainthood, martyr and warden privileges’ to the land of the rest of us raunchy, real, alive, blood pumping, vein throbbing, appetite serving, hoping/hollering, sensual/sexual fun loving ordinary folks who just want to have a great time [laughing alot] while breathing on this planet called Earth.. What’s wrong with that? Who wants to live with an unapproachable foreboding priest who has 10 millions skeletons in his own closet, while at the same time, paying penance by delivering ‘damn you to hell’ sermons and issuing ultimatums to everyone else in the congregation?
It’s high time to release your supposed hold. Acknowledge that you make mistakes and that you really don’t know what is the right thing to do in every situation and for every person you say you care about. Guess What? You’re not supposed to know. That falls into a domain much loftier than the one you currently reside in. The bottom line: You are a liar and the life you are investing so much concentrated deliberate fist clinching teeth grinding force to hold together is a lie, too. Truth needs no upkeep or prison walls to enslave. In order to find a workable, acceptable and interactive resolution to your particular situation, you must come to terms with ‘letting go.’ It’s a matter of releasing the reins of the runaway horse. Do you honestly believe you can change the energy of instinctive ‘will and desire’?
It’s time to integrate various parts of your neglected artistic sensual sexual sacred personality into the stale picture. Integration requires the skillful addition of various elements to the personality that have been overlooked, undervalued or disassociated. In order for you to do this, you must admit openly to yourself, that you are HUMAN, just like the rest of us. You have needs, desires, and perfectly natural fantasies needing expression. You, because of the diligent work invested, to maintain control, often times (unconsciously) project onto another the fundamental fragments of unreflected unhealthy needs, habits and wishes. To be fully integrated, a careful committed effort of self-attention is demanded. You do not necessarily like what you see in another simply because it is the truest mirror of yourself. When you do not accept the deviant variances associated, you establish mind games to off set the uncomfortable, unsavory ideas, and obsessively neurotic feelings felt and experienced. You either choose not to associate with that particular person or talk scandalously about him/her behind his back, never realizing you are adding insult to injury by being ‘two faced and phony’. OR, even worse, you continue to live with the person “you confess to love” constantly reminding him/her how terrible, ungrateful, unappreciative, rude, unfeeling, and inconsiderate.
At the other end of the spectrum, you can so falsely admire the qualities in another (created fictitiously out of desperate need to see them in yourself) that you begin a semi-idolatrous worship for that same reason. Once again, you’ve ignored the genuine need to mirror yourself in a more honest fashion, and, instead have chosen to elevate the position, worth and value of your innate qualities onto the other. You inadvertently establish dependence on the other to supply what you believe is lacking in yourself. A self-defeating and demoralizing effect will in the end arise and bite you. Accept the fact that you are afraid, indolent and spoiled. You refuse to ‘show up for your life.’
No one should be straddled with such ominous responsibility to continually have to add security or reassurance to you. You need to face with your own self-created and inflicted demons, wrestle them to the ground to regain the traits that are to be admired and respected in yourself. Eliminate the stance of self-abasement. You must initiate a practicable evolving relationship which necessitates the intonation of genuine responses based upon legitimate authentic instincts, not lip service. If you are so concerned with how the other will react to your opinion, it will not be truthful in the least but a salty-dog expression of false aspiration and desired result. You seek in vain for a lust of result. In order for any relationship to begin to flower, you must observe carefully your inward feelings before you speak or react in any given situation. What is happening deep in your gut? Has the involvement grown past the point of interest? Are you simply hanging on out of desperation, loneliness or insecurity?
Integration of the artistic self must take place first before any smidgen of authentic desire in sustaining a healthy relationship can occur. Usually when a relationship goes south, so to speak, it is because one or the other is not being true but counterfeiting the existence until, at some point, you contend, things will improve. The unprocessed fact of the matter, however, is ‘things’ will not improve until you make a move to ‘turn the tables over’ exposing your talent and your real sexual needs. You must be willing to ascertain your sacred erotic desires in order to embrace the side of your nature you abhor and are so fearful of. Your idea of good and bad must be shot completely to the 16th galaxy on the other side of nowhere. At the base of this wretched state is the inability to deal with the importance of reputation, status, career, and ‘supposed’ respectability in your life. Screw it in order to release the paralyzing barrier. This one act of concealed courage will expose the artistic liberating fabric that weaves together the character (temperature) associated in the relationship with the other person, as well.
Liar, Liar pants on fire. Take care of that ‘surge of a urge’ immediately.